Crocodies & Mating, The Devil, and Beer: Just What We've Been Talking About Around Here...

This week we've had a few random (disturbing!) conversations with the boys this week. Tell me your wacky conversations with your kids these days...I am hoping you can top my stories (!)-

[SCENE: The two older boys are out with Tin Man, and it is Happy Boy's bedtime.]

R.R.S. {Ruby Red Slippers}: "Happy Boy, you need to go upstairs and get your jammies on while I finish up putting these dishes in the dishwasher."

Happy Boy: "But MOM! I want to go outside and play!"

R.R.S.: "Sorry, Charlie, it's bedtime right now. Thank you for listening to me."

Happy Boy: "Mommy, you are just like the Devil, you know-"

R.R.S.: "Come back here! What do you mean, 'I am like the Devil!'

Happy Boy: "You are not being nice, so you are mean like the Devil. He is the meanest one, you know."

R.R.S: "...Well, go get your jammies on anyway. I said it was time for bed."

R.R.S leaving a message on Tin Man's phone: "Your son just called me the Devil!"

***

[SCENE: At the kitchen table, helping Nature Boy do math homework. Tin Man is -unfortunately not home to help with this whopper, and the two little boys are playing soccer in the downstairs playroom.]

Nature Boy: "Hey, Mom?"

R.R.S.: "Don't forget the decimal on that one...What, honey?"

Nature Boy: "Did you know I saw two crocodiles mating once on TV and did you know that's how crocodiles have babies."

R.R.S.: "...Um. Uh Huh..."

(Internal conversation with myself: "Why is he talking about animal mating when we are doing math???

Please God, let this conversation end!")

Nature Boy: "So people mate too, right, and that's how they have babies. Right?"

R.R.S: "..................Ummm. Yes.........."

Nature Boy: "So that means you mated three times to have us. "

(Internal conversation with myself: "!!!!!!!!")

R.R.S: "...Well, um, uh, yes......And, did you add that decimal?"

***

[SCENE: Nature Boy is in bed, later the same evening. The other two boys are sleeping-]

Nature Boy (-coming into my bedroom where I am grading papers while watching TV): "Do you realize that the Duggars have mated 19 times to have all those kids! That is just gross!"

R.R.S.: "....True. Um. Sure-

Why don't we discuss this with Dad another day? It is pretty late and you need to get to sleep..."

***

[SCENE: At the pediatrician's office for the second round of strep throat for Happy Boy-]

Doctor: " Mom, you were right: He does have strep again. I will call in this prescription right away."

R.R.S: "I knew it when he woke up crying last night! I can't believe we are passing this around the house again!"

Doctor: " Well, little guy! I know your mom will help you feel better real soon by picking up your medicine!"

Happy Boy: "She helped me last night when I was crying, and my throat hurt really bad!"

Doctor (on computer filling out prescription order online): "Oh really?"

Happy Boy: "Uh-huh. She gave me a Popsicle and beer!"

Doctor stops typing and looks at me-

R.R.S.: "Honey, tell her  what kind of beer, please, we don't just call it beer-"

Happy Boy: "Oh. I mean, Root beer!"

Doctor continues writing up prescription again.

***

[SCENE: Tin Man shaving in the bathroom while Happy Boy watches while sitting on the side of the sink:]

Happy Boy (quietly kicking his legs on the sink vanity watching): "Daddy, you sound like the Devil sometimes."

Tin Man: "What?!"

Happy Boy: "You sound like the Devil! I'm not kidding!"

Tin Man: "Why do you say that?"

Happy Boy: " When you make me empty the dishwasher and I don't want to-that's when I think you sound like the Devil."

Tin Man (calling down the stairs to me-): "Hey! Your son just told me I sound like the Devil sometimes!"

***

That's what has been talked about here...

What's being talked about there?

(...Who is more commonly referred to as, "The Devil" on occasion-)