My "Breathings"~

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart."

 ~William Wordsworth

I did it.
I finally did it:

This is a year of my blog in three volumes.

Why did I have it published?

It is a history of my family-

The recipes we've made-

The stories that make us "US"-

The way our house looked-

The cute things they have done to bring a smile to my face-

And one day- when my boys are teens- and tell me how much I must not love them because I won't let them do whatever it is they want to do- I will have these books to remind them I have loved them so much-I have written a love story to them-

Because that is what my mom did. The impression was lasting....

As a teen, my mom and I were always arguing. Or rather, I was arguing, crying, being dramatic-and she was trying her best to deal with me.  One morning, after storming out the door to school with a, "YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE ME! IF YOU DID, YOU WOULD LET ME SPEND THE NIGHT AT SANDY TOE'S HOUSE!  YOU ARE SO UNFAIR! YOU ARE THE MEANEST MOM IN THE WORLD!!!"

Yep. That was me-Little Miss Over-Dramatic.

I got home from school that afternoon to find a mossy green book on my bed. {The bed I had left unmade, and messy-now made up, and straightened...by mom, of course.} I opened the book, and discovered it was a journal.

A journal in my mom's handwriting.
A journal about me.
From birth.
Little stories of how she loved kissing my little baby toes-

How worried she was when I got my first cold with a fever.

The funny things I did as a toddler.
How much she was in love with me-her first baby.
I sat on my bed, with tears dripping off my chin.
Oh, the remorse I felt for my anger at her that morning.

I can't say it made the rest of my teen years go by with little drama-but it did change how I viewed my mom.
I knew she wanted what was best for me.

I knew she was my biggest champion.

I knew when she prayed each day-I was in her prayers.
I knew.

Then I got married.
I had my first baby.
And then I REALLY knew-
I knew the overwhelming love of being a mom.
I finally got what she had been trying to tell me with her written words.

...And so-

I have kept journals for all my boys from the day I took each pregnancy test:

The journals have morphed into this blog:

And that's the story of why I am now a "published author".

For them.

Always for them-

(....Who writes for my boys~)