What Would Mama Do ?(Part UNO)

What would Mama do??

That is the question I asked myself after a 'discussion' with my oldest son.

There were tears, frustrations expressed, and even anger at some points between the two of us.

I think God thought He would throw me for a loop by giving me three boys.

This organizational-loving, bling-bling adoring, romance-reading, fake-nail wearing girly-girl had three boys.

There are days when I say to myself, "I am SO not prepared for this!"

And so I thought of Italian Mama after a boy/brother/grounded from video games for a month (!)  discussion with my son. I don't want to lead you wrong-My boys are good boys. They really are-but I want to do this right. You know? I want to parent these boys right!!!

I have mentioned my mom before-and she is fantastic. However-her expertise is raising my sister and I-both girls. I needed the advice of a 'Boy Mama'. I e-mailed Italian Mama with a LIST of questions. Literally-a list. And I asked her advice on raising boys.{I mean, BEGGED~}  Because, if anyone knows how to raise boys, SHE does. She is the mom of three teen boys. Three well-behaved, kind-hearted, acheiving teen boys. {I will put it this way: I am POSITIVE we will NOT be seeing her boys on "Jersey Shore"!} When she posts about her boys-I am always thinking to myself, "Remember this one-....and -oh, is that good!" That is what I aspire to when my boys are older...and it is coming closer and closer every day~

I know I am not the only one with small boys-I follow your blogs. So I thought if we could all listen  a bit to a mom who has been where we are, where I am right now.

Itallian Mama was up for the challenge of answering all my crazy, rambling questions about what {I worry about with my boys!} is ahead with my boys...

Please give a warm "salve" {Hello in Italian} to Italian Mama:

Part UNO:
1. How do your boys get along, and how do you create a bond between brothers?

My sons argue and bicker a lot... but I always, always, always say this to them:  "I gave birth to your best friends... they will be with you in good times and bad... they will be there when you marry, when you get hurt, at your death bed... your friends WON'T... when one of us is hurt...we all hurt... we are a bond unlike any other, and you MUST understand that when you hurt each other with words and actions not like God, you hurt ALL OF US!... Now hug, and tell your bro how much you love and adore him, and think of one thing you like about him and tell him..."



2. What is one of the most difficult issues rasing teen boys, and how are you dealing with it?

In my household, my most difficult issue is outside influence. My sons attend private Christian schools, but there are still people and things that try to permeate all the training I've done with my men. I have always told my boys that they will never be 'normal' boys that get to party, and go out unsupervised with their friends, or go to parties we all weren't invited to. It's just not acceptable behavior. I have set a lot of boundaries for my sons at an early age, and we have set up expectations for our sons that are required to be met... I truly believe that each teen will reach the potential expected of them if given the tools and support to do so. Teens are amazing creatures... they really will rise to any expectation level set for them, they actually LIKE rules, and crave them... don't ever think otherwise. I have heard many, many, of their friends say they wish their parent's "cared" for them the way we care for our sons... and put our foot down.

3. Describe some of the chores the boys do around the house. Do they get paid, or not?

No, I've never paid my sons to be a part of our family. They do cleaning chores, their own laundry (now) clean up before and after meals, toilet duty (why do men have such bad aim?) To live in our home, and to be a part of our home, means to keep the home in order, as a unit... it's part of life, and I don't pay them to do that.

4. What are some of your tactics in teaching responsibility? Kindness? Respectfulness?

Nip lippy, condescending, disrespectful behavior in the bud... EARLY ON! as soon as it happens, call them on it, and ask for an apology...immediately. Issue the appropriate consequence immediately, and have them follow through on it...

On the other hand... REWARD with praise, any simple kindness done to ANYONE ELSE... without being prodded. Tell your kids you are proud of them or that something they did warmed your heart... and it will last forever... THINGS, TOYS AND TRINCKETS aren't necessary, and send the wrong message... VERBAL PRAISE is a wonderful thing.

5. What are some important attributes you are trying to instill in your boys? How?

In this world of oversexed, over stimulated, under cultured people, I have been really trying to be vigilant in instilling basic manners and social gathering manners. ALSO... in this world of WAAAAY TOO FORWARD GIRLS... I have been teaching OLD SCHOOL ways of thinking... being the man, "NO, MEANS "NO!" when with a girl, sex before marriage is not okay, treat a girl like a lady, and she'll act like one (i hope), I want them to stand up when a girl excuses herself, (I know, old fashioned, but have you ever experienced it? it's wonderful!) pull out her chair, know how to order wine, know what sort of conversation is appropriate in mixed company etc... I want my sons to rise above, and be the cream at the top!

Also, my husband is a wonderful example of a man who takes care of business, is truly the MAN of the house, has the respect of this peers, his family AND his wife (no matter what you may have read what I wrote about him... he is the bomb!), and I want my children to have that same kind of life... one of honor, and of doing Godly things, and just being the men they are supposed to be.

That went pretty 'bene' {Itallian for well-}, didn't it? I told you, Itallian Mama has much wisdom that I want to glean from...How about you? 

Are there any questions you would ask Mama about raising boys?

'Addio' {Goodbye in Italian] until the next session with Italian Mama~

***Part  DUE  (Two) With Mama next THURSDAY~ ***