My original title was going to be: "Why Martha Stewart is a Liar". But that sounds kind-of mean, doesn't it??
I am irritated with Martha at the moment. Instead of showing you an amazing craft-I will be asking for help later on. Stay tuned. That or seriously-commit me. Or give me a Starbucks-that might make me feel better...or a Band-aid.
******
Anyway, last Spring, someone thought it would be funny to give me a subscription to Martha Stewart Magazine. Because I am so crafty (!?). Not sure, but so far no one has confessed to me it was them who signed me up for it. {See why I am thinking it was a joke?} So far this is the second craft of Martha's that I have tried. The first one {that I thought I could do} was making glittery-covered candles-Glue, glitter, candle, Easy.
After that craft, I thought, "I must be ready for the next one! This isn't so bad!"
So~
Make your own wine stopper was one of the crafts one month.
I thought-"Oh neat! That would be an easy gift to make for friends, or a hostess gift!."
Here is how you do it:
{Gather three items...Seems easy enough...right?}
Step One:
Step Two:
Step Two:
Step Three:
...And that is as far as I got. It is IMPOSSIBLE to drill through a wine cork! At least it is for me...
It seemed so simple, but it DID NOT GO Well.
I practically stabbed my finger, as I drilled.
The hole wasn't deep enough.
It just.didn't.work.
That is why MARTHA is a liar.
Easy craft for a hostess gift? I think NOT! Not if you want to keep all ten fingers from disfigurement. Not if you faint at the sight of blood. Not for me!
Any ideas???
That-or mail me a band-aid. Or a coffee.
Or both. {Or just a comment! ;)}That may help...
(...Who is NOT so crafty today and bleeding!)
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18 comments:
That just made me laugh! I am the same way with crafts sometimes. They say it's easy and then it takes me twice as long or I can't figure it out at all! I don't have any suggestions to make it work for you though. Sorry!
It's funny that you say this about Martha. I am quite crafty, but two of her projects that I have undertaken in the past were so frustrating, they made me glad she went to prison. :-) I will have to tell you about them some time.
P.S. Have you opened up your new blog yet? I still can't get in...
...I wonder if a fine masonry bit would work??
I never did like Martha! lol. try using a very thin drill bit first, they may be able to cut through it better.
Girl, you are preaching to the choir with this one! I can't do crafty projects for the life of me...and I want to so badly!
LOL! I agree...I had a Martha subscription for a number of years, but just got tired of feeling like everything I did was "sub-par." I didn't cook well enough, didn't craft nearly enough, didn't hand stamp my own wrapping paper at Christmas...ugh!
Sorry you're bleeding and discouraged. Mean ol' Martha!
How about a wax cork?
It did sound and look like a lovely project...
Try another... and share with us...
I'm too afraid to get her magazine.
Oh no - lol! I am glad you didn't have to make a dash to the ER! I don't do well with crafts that require power tools. I practically cut my finger off with a pair of scissors a couple of weeks ago.
I say stick to mod podge - it's a lot less dangerous - lol!
XOOX
Jen
I can offer no help... I think Martha is a big liar. There are so many of her crafts or recipes that she claims are "easy"..... and they are ONLY if you name is Martha Stewart and you have a crew of well-paid staff to help you! :-) She makes everything look SO easy... but it isn't for me! I have an aunt who is a lot like Martha and I think they are both liars! ;-)
You need the drill attachment used to drill pilot holes. OR...just trust that you are much more creative than Martha, she doesn't come up with half of her own ideas anyway.
Oh my goodness, you are too funny. LOL :) You sounds like me. I've had these disasters too!
Ha! Ha! That's kind funny (not that you were bleeding, though). It does seem simple enough. I'll bet she only formed the directions and had some master craftsman do the project. And since we are non-master craftsman (or craftswoman, however you want to put it) then it becomes quite a dangerous endevour indeed!
So Martha is deceptive.
Don't hold yourself to her standards.
She has full staff; she doesn't care if they bleed.
I bet she doesn't care if they have a pulse either...she gets me nervous with those glares of hers.
Just drink the wine up and then you won't need a stinkin' stopper!
.mac :)
That Martha. She makes everything look so easy. I, for one, know it isn't. Remember, she has all of those personal assistants. Maybe the magazine subscription should come with a personal assistant!
That idea looks really cute!
Too bad Martha is a liar! ;0)
Mrs. NB
Cute post!
I have no words of wisdom--never tried it.
Yeah, sometimes the projects that seem so easy turn out to be a pain!
You are so funny!
First, Cash has that same "prince charming" shirt except they didn't have his size on sale so I bought a 5T for next year!
Also, kudos to you for trying. I have those same knobs in Cash and Cillian's room on their closet doors--they are light blue. Very pretty...mmm guess I shouldn't say that since it is a boys room.
I saw a cute idea with knobs....get two hang them on a wall (in a wall,whatever) and then string steel cable between them and hang artwork from little metal clips.
I almost did that today. You know kinda like PB stuff!
oh the drill... you gotta be careful! my daughter's friend drilled through laura's finger last spring. ouch! anyway, good for you for event rying one of martha's projects. not me. no way. and i'm kinda crafty :)
i do love your new bloggy look! bet martha can't do that!
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